Just My Mind

It's been two years and the memories of u are still...

U used to tell me stories before bedtime when I was kid. U did make me fall asleep! I remember one night, when u were telling me of ur stories (I don't remember what it was about), the kids in the neighborhood made a noise in the other side of our wall. It ruined ur story so u splashed them with a glass of water through the window. I knew u didn't mean to do that to those kids. It was just because u loved me so much...

When I was still kid, I used to cry every morning u wanted to go for work. To make me stop crying, u took me with u and we went around the neighborhood by ur old scooter (wondering where I can find the scooter now).

Once we took a photo after playing some traditional games on my little bed (at that time, I was still a little girl right, so was the bed). I can look at the photo until now.

I was really embarassed when u found me talking with a boy in front of my school. He was my boyfriend but I said to u he's just my classmate. I knew u were worried of realizing ur little girl changed into a teenager. I was still in junior high school and having a boyfriend was really weird.
'Monkey Love' one said.. (hahaha never thought that someone could be a monkey if she falls in love)

Mom was angry when I came home late. She cried and I really didn't know what to do. I felt guilty but had no desire to apologize (hey... I was teenager!). U got into my room and talked. Not much but touched. In the evening, Mom didn't look sad anymore and we enjoyed the dinner U cooked. That was sweet!

In senior high, I joined one of the extracurricular programs. One day, we had a meeting after school and it rained. U came to the school giving the umbrella so I wouldn't be wet due to the rain.

We went to bookstore, walked hand in hand, some people looked us strangely (they thought we had illegal affair.. ha! he's my dad, guys!)

U took me to the university that was far away from home. That was the first time I got separated with u, Mom, and the little sisters. As u walked out of the gate, I really wanted to say 'don't go!' or 'i want to go home with u.' But both were not said. I saw u walking farther, farther until u disappeared. I cried to know that u would be alone on the way back home.

The third year, u came to visit me in the middle of joining a workshop. U looked so hungry then ate in my room hurrily because u should go back to the workshop. When I took u to the street to get the public transportation (angkot), we met some of ur friends. Proudly, u introduced me to them, like u used to do. I kissed ur hand and said goodbye as u get into the 'angkot'. Hmmm... It was strange to see u getting on 'angkot' since u never got separated with ur motorcycle everywhere u go. Nearly thought u would get lost.

It was three a.m and I was still doing my paper. U knocked the door and wondered to see me awake. U said, 'aren't u sleepy? go to bed, u might get sick.'

At the wedding of ur youngest sister, u saw me and some tears fell down from ur eyes. I didn't know what on ur mind was or what u felt at that time. I thought u were sad because someday I'm going leave u after getting married. But now I know why exactly u were sad. Because u knew that u wouldn't be there at my wedding.

U were hospitalized for a long time. U couldn't speak well, couldn't move ur body. I didn't talk to u much like I had done before. What I could do was looking at u while u were sleeping, hoped that when u woke up everything would be like before. Once I fell asleep and u woke me up. I thought u needed something. But u said very slowly and almost unheard, 'u look so thin. eat a lot!' I really wanted to cry but I didn't.

Bapak...wherever u are now, I always love u and I won't forget each memory we passed through together in which a little part of it has been written here...

It's been two years and the memories of u are still...

Sebuah peribahasa mengatakan: "Rumput tetangga jauh lebih hijau daripada rumput di halaman sendiri." Mungkin peribahasa tersebut lebih cocok ditujukan kepada para kambing di luar sana, mengingat merekalah yang doyan rumput. Tapi peribahasa itu ternyata berlaku juga buat kita para manusia, walaupun kita enggak makan rumput dan enggak pernah berniat sedikitpun untuk ngrebutin rumput di halaman tetangga. Sadar enggak sih, kadang bahkan sering kita melihat kehidupan orang lain jauh lebih baik dari kehidupan kita sendiri.
"Si itu enak ya kerja di bank?! Pasti duitnya banyak!"

Nah, komentar-komentar inilah yang sering aku dengar dari beberapa forum gosip, baik itu tingkat RT, RW, kelurahan, maupun tingkat daerah. Padahal kalau dipikir-pikir semua itu ada plus minusnya. Sayang, enggak banyak orang yang mau mikir, jadinya rumput tetangga jauh lebih hijau daripada rumput di halaman sendiri. Ayo para kambing, serbuuuuu.....
Coba kita bayangkan! Kerja di bank keliatannya emang enak. Setiap hari dibanjiri uang, uang, dan uang. Tapi perlu diingat saudara-saudara, itu uang bukan uang nganggur apalagi uang sumbangan dari para nasabah. Jadi, enggak mungkin banget kalau bank bikin acara saweran buat para pegawainya begitu ada nasabah yang nyetor duit. Judulnya aja 'kerja' di bank. Namanya kerja, apapun itu, pasti capek dan ada resikonya. Plus minus deh...
Jadi anak tunggal enggak selamanya juga menyenangkan. Salah satu mantan pacar, yang sekarang menjadi suami resmiku (emangnya ada yang enggak resmi? Hehe...) pernah mengeluh menjadi anak tunggal. Ya kesepian lah, enggak ada temen ngobrol, enggak ada temen berantem, enggak ada yang disuruh-suruh, pokoknya macem-macem deh. Apalagi kalau melihat ibu yang jadi sendirian di rumah setelah anak tunggalnya itu menikah. See, plus minus...
Jadi PNS harus mau ditempatkan di daerah manapun di seluruh nusantara. Kebayang enggak, kalau kita ditempatkan di daerah yang jauh banget dari rumah, bahkan jauh dari pemukiman penduduk. Sepanjang mata memandang, hanya hamparan sawah yang terlihat. Kalau musim kemarau, panasnya nauzubila. Tapi kalau musim dingin, mesti siap-siap kehujanan karena enggak ada tempat berteduh. Lha wong adanya cuma sawah tok! Jalanan becyek, enggak ada ojyek...
So, daripada kita mengikuti hasrat kambing kita untuk makan rumput tetangga, lebih baik kita syukuri aja apa yang ada. Karena Tuhan menciptakan kita satu paket, lengkap.

Syukuri apa yang ada
Hidup adalah anugrah
Tetap jalani hidup ini
Melakukan yang terbaik...
(d'massive)